Defend yourself by being rude? Self-defense Tip #17

Hi friends,

Wow! I’m loving being a grandma, but I kind of forgot how tiring the interrupted sleep thing is. LOL. Turns out sleep math is strange. 2 hours of sleep plus 3 hours of sleep plus another 3 hours is NOT the same as 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a row!

But when tiny, adorable eyes are staring up at me at 3 in the morning . . . it’s heart-melting!

Hopefully my little granddaughter will figure out the day/night thing pretty soon so all of us can be a little more well-rested.

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Self-defense Tip #17

Being rude can be safer!

Women are often trained to be polite and accommodating in social situations, but that can backfire when being targeted by a predator.

In those cases, learning to say ‘No’ forcefully, holding up a hand to stop someone, or simply leaving a dangerous situation – all somewhat ‘rude’ behaviors – can be life-saving.

I’ll give you a few ideas to mull over and let me know what you think:

1. Your date asks, “Can I come in for a few minutes?” You’ve been feeling uncomfortable with him all evening. The polite thing would be to acquiesce . . . but not the safest. Instead, give him a confident ‘No’ followed by moving into your house and locking the door. No explanation necessary. Trust your instincts!
2. “Excuse me, miss?” asks a man in a polite voice while approaching you in a dark parking lot as you walk to your car. Politeness would dictate that you stop and see what he wants. It would be safer to ignore the man or shake your head as you continue on your way without stopping. You are under no obligation to stop and talk.
3. A co-worker at a party leans in for a hug you don’t want. Do you suffer through it with long-suffering politeness? No! Instead try one of these: side-step, use a humorous ‘Not happening’ if you’re having a hard time with being too abrupt, or even a quick heel palm to the chest, just solid enough to interrupt his motion will work wonders.

Many women have been drilled on polite manners throughout their lives until it is second nature, and the confident but abrupt actions listed above will sound difficult and even wrong.

If you’ve felt that way before, take some time to run through a few example scenarios and find ways that you can stand up for yourself and stay safe.

If you have a scenario you need suggestions about, just ask! I’d love give you a few ideas or see what our readers can come up with collectively . . . maybe a new “Ask Misty” feature. 🙂

Or if you’ve been in a situation where being forceful and strong (sometimes called rude) has helped protect you and get you out of a bad situation, please share with all of us. Success stories are encouraging!

It’s not rude to stay safe!

I hope this concept is helpful to mentally prepare ahead of time to stop a dangerous situation from escalating. Be safe first, and polite second. 🙂

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Well, new mom and I are trading off during the night so we’re both a bit sleep deprived, but smiling all the time at the new cutie.

I hope you’re having a happy week!

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Misty’s Writing Update:

Baby is off to her first doctor’s visit. I’ve turned on some music and am enjoying pounding out another chapter in my book. I find that upbeat music seems to help the words flow better and the story grow faster.

What about you? Do you work to music? I could use some suggestions for upbeat tunes that would be a good backdrop to writing action scenes.

And I’m also really enjoying this world building after spending so long writing in “the real world” during my post-apoc series. With this one, I can pretty much make it all up – the tech, the transportation, the food, the monsters, the laws, the magic . . . all of it! 🙂

While it is definitely more time-consuming than writing a story set in a current American city like St. Louis, it’s really a burst of creative freedom that makes me smile.

Enjoy your reading this week!

— Misty 🙂