Hi friends,
Have you ever noticed the things written at the top of the pages in your favorite paperback? I never did until I had to format the paperback for Combat Origin this week. Yeah, I had to pick where and if to put my author name, the book’s name, the chapter name, and the page numbers on every page.
It never crossed my mind as a reader, so I had to run through my house bugging my kids to bring me all the sci-fi paperback books they could find to see what other authors had done. Turns out they’re all different (since I’m sure you’re dying to know). P.S. — The e-reader on my phone was no help, whatsoever! 😀
In any case, the paperback is done and submitted now, waiting for the Amazon worker bees to give it a stamp of approval, or not. Fingers crossed!
Two weeks and counting down to publication day of Combat Origin! 🙂
What if the bad guys look like good guys?
They won’t sound like them!
When I teach self-defense classes, I’ll ask what a potential attacker typically looks like. Some of the answers betray a bias that attackers have to look the part. The list usually included visual or behavioral cues, clothing, tattoos, creepy stares, etc.
Then someone in the crowd will mention be taken advantage of by a charismatic charmer that she and none of her friends ever suspected.
Now, that’s scary – and very common. Think for a minute. If you want to get a woman alone and away from her protections, you need to lure her to come willingly. You would need charm and niceness, to create a sense of obligation on her part and other manipulative tactics.
This is why I teach Gavin deBecker’s list of pre-incident indicators in every self-defense class. They are listed in his book “The Gift of Fear” and I recommend every woman read it. He proposes that all violent attacks have specific behavioral indicators beforehand and if women can learn to understand and notice them, they can avoid the dangerous situation completely.
As one of my readers wrote in an email, she’d like to avoid violence completely and this is a very effective way for women do so.
There are seven indicators and a single one, by itself, isn’t dangerous. However, when you see someone using multiple of the techniques to overcome your objections and convince you to do something you’re not comfortable with, be warned!
Here are two of my favorites:
1. Not taking ‘No’ for an answer. A potential attacker or stalker will ignore your ‘No’ over and over to get what he wants.
“If you tell someone ten times that you don’t want to talk to him, you are talking to them—nine more times than you wanted to.”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear
2. Too many details. In order to make a lie convincing, the liar will often throw in a lot of extra details to try and ‘sell’ the lie.
I’ll mention others in future newsletters, but feel free to read the book beforehand. Stay safe!
A tiny piece of homework: What would you like to see in these newsletters and posts?
Keep writing me – I get a couple emails a week from fans and really enjoy each one. I hope the self-defense tip was both interesting and informative. Take care!
Until next Friday,
— Misty 🙂
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